Friday, September 9, 2011

People have asked me what's up for awhile. So I thought I would catch you up to the Schake Saga....;)

In November of 2010, Annie, Koty and I traveled to North Carolina to see our Dr. there. Not too long after that our doctor retired. We were midway through our treatment, that seemed to be working, by the way. So you can imagine how frustrated and grieved we were to again find ourselves at what seemed to be the starting line.
Our doctor was able to at least write scripts that would last us until we were able to find a new doctor. We had built a close relationship with her and were sad to see it end. God had brought us to her, there was no doubt about that. He knew I needed her reassurance and her support and her understanding of what it was like to live with Lyme.
There was only one idea that crossed our minds as to what to do next. We ended up connecting with a doctor in D.C. who was one of the leading specialists in Lyme disease and who had actually taught Dr. B (our North Carolina doc.)
It took us at least 4 months to get in to see him. It's amazing during the waiting period what your mind can take you through. Of course this whole journey has been a waiting period to some extent, but I found myself once again fighting my old anger, frustration and fears. Some of it was pointed towards God and the other was pointed towards the injustice of a system that is supposed to be set up to help people, but in reality it is there to mostly serve itself. I felt out of control once again and at moments found myself face to face with a fear stricken desperation. Those moments remind me of being held in a straight jacket, not that I've ever been in one, but my disease and my circumstances have made me feel exactly like that at times.
The thoughts of hoping and trusting only to be let down again, whether by circumstances or people, seemed to suffocate me at times.
It seems so easy to say, "so I trusted God and knew that he would see me through once again."
Eventually that is what happened. But is doesn't always come so easily to me, I am ashamed to say. Once again, God in His grace loves me and stays with me during my struggles. What was so humbling to me at this time was to be reminded of Romans 8:34 "Christ Jesus is the One who died, but even more has been raised. He also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us"...... So my prayer became, "Thank you, Lord Jesus, not only for knowing how much sifting I can stand, but also for being there with me, praying for me while I'm going through it." Amazing the humbleness and power that fills you when you understand that God is praying FOR you.

Anyway...Long story short, we found a doctor in D.C. who specializes in Lyme and who is actually a forerunner in treating the disease. We traveled up to see him in May of this year.
The closer we got to the appointment, my fears and frustration seemed to escalate yet once again. ( Unless you've been in a situation where your hopes and thoughts are continually destroyed, you might not understand what I'm talking about when I speak of fear in that way. I was afraid to hope, to trust really. In someone, even though they may be good or know alot of information, but to trust someone once again with hope, it's frightening. I didn't know if I could be let down again. Every doctor that God has led me to seemed, at the time, to be the last straw. Going to this doctor and knowing that he was one of the tops of the totem pole, I absolutely did not know where to turn if this didn't work out.) ..."Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek HIS will in ALL you do and He will direct your paths.' Prov. 3:5-6.....this verse came to mind as we entered the clinic and His peace flooded my soul.
We have been on treatment with Dr. J since May. He was surprised at how well I was doing at the time he met me. Which reminded me that sometimes I look at where I am, rather that where I've been. With Lyme, it's like watching the grass grow. It's hard to see the improvements when you are living every day, but to look back at year ago and compare where I was to now...unbelievable, the difference. I have to make myself stay in that mind frame, so that discouragement and despair does not have a foothold in my thoughts.
Koty is doing fantastic. We will see what the doc says when we go to see him at the end of this month, if he has to continue his treatment or not. Sometimes when a patient reaches a point of showing no symptoms, then they are put on a "maintence treament" for a time just to be sure that everything has been eracticated. Koty has been symptom free for over a month now.
Annie still struggles with some of her symptoms, stomach pain mostly, but overall, even her symptoms have disappeared. (VERY EXCITING!!!)
Alot of my symptoms are gone or at least the cycles are longer, which is good. My bad days are less frequent and farther apart from each other. When I do get them they don't last as long either.
The doc also looked at Syd and Madi's symtpoms and they will be starting treatment sometime soon. Probably as the other two go off. (That was a very big blow i forgot to mention :)....but Syd and madi will be needing treatment as well. they have had symptoms for a long time, but again , everyone is different and their's took awhile to show themselves full force, so I think it was all in God's timing.
With that in our future....Eph. 6:10-12 comes to mind...."But in You, Lord, I am strengthened by Your vast strength." Can't , or wouldn't want, to live this life without Him!